I hate all girls vehemently.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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