You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
