i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
