it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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