Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
