If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
