Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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