just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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