Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
