no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
