You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
