Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
