I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
