Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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