is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
