just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
