I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
