the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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