it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
