I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
