Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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