i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
