So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
