Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
third nipple confirmed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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