I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I smell like Dick and happiness
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
