real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
