I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
