sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
