it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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