Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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