You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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