she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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