im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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