It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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