nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Alive.
So much puke
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
