Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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