He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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