he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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