I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
