It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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