I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
