I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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