Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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