I seem to have left my pride at pride
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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