yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
