i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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