I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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