I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
