Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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