I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
