dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
