Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
